Friday, October 19, 2012

....like a river

It all came back to me like a flash flood.
A torrent of emotions that caused me to lose my balance. Steadying myself became my first priority. I reached out for a column and almost fell into the street.  No traffic.  Good.
What just happened? Oh yeah!  I remember now.  For the briefest of moments I was taken back to my last year in Delaware.  His had a glazed look in his eyes.  This is something I know all to well.  In the life he was experiencing now, there is no life, no hope, definitely no joy.  What could I offer him in the way of help?

Some nights I too am haunted by my past, and like a river without regard for those in its path, I was swept away without warning.  Is it enough to pray for that person or those affected by the circumstances of life takes everything away from them?  The carnal human asks "what did they do to get this way?"  Having literally walked in his shoes I could not let my thoughts lead me down that road.  My journey with an aimless itinerary lasted 2 years.  Those were two of the darkest and most painful years of my life.  Now, looking back I can say without hesitation that my life should have ended.  I had no hope, joy, or reason to live.  I was much like the prophet Ezekiel as he sat near the River Chebar and lamented the condition of the nation Israel as they are in captivity and the destruction of Jerusalem.  They too were without hope, joy or a reason to go on.  Even in a foreign land God still was with HIS chosen people.  The last part of verse 1 of chapter 1 states, "that the heavens were opened and I saw visions of God."  Going on to verse 3 last part also, "the hand of the LORD was upon him there."
I can say most assuredly that the LORD was with me as life swept me away.  It was something I had seen but never wanted to experience , but I did.  Was God glorified in my wandering?  No.  But He was with me.  Despite what caused me to get to that place and point, God was there. 
Ezekiel goes on to say in chapter 3:22, "Then the hand of the LORD was upon me there, and He said to me, 'Arise, go out into the plain, and there I shall talk with you." 
So it was with me.  God had to get my attention away from my own selfish desires, the idols, and spiritual adultery and other things that kept getting in the way of Him and I.  What else could I do but turn to Him? Israel had to go through it and now I see many others in this day and age having to be in
"foreign lands" and being in captivity to whatever it is that puts them there.  Will they recognize God and his attempts to reach them?  Only God knows. In closing I would like to say I am warmed and saddened by the fact that many of God's chosen went into captivity and only a remnant (small few) came out.