God was never important enough to me to seek out a relationship with Him while I was growing up and noticing the world around me. Yet, i told all who asked, I was a believer. I even wore clothing that professed my faith. How ironic that those things were the extent of my relationship with Jesus...only on the outside.
Later on in life after much hardship I began to see that God was not God to me. Had He been real to me I would not have made some of the decisions I made growing up. Praise God for His compassion and mercy. I did not know much about Him even though I grew up in the church and sang in the church choir. As I get ready to close out my day I am drawn to the story of Rehoboam in 2nd Chronicles 12 and how his life is characterized by the scriptures.
Verse 14 "And he (Rehoboam) did evil, because he did not prepare his heart to seek the Lord." In plain text, Rehoboam did what he wanted and nothing good came from it. Rehoboam is the son of Solomon the wisest man who ever lived. Rehoboam was party to some of the greatest testaments of Solomon because he was the kings son. Surely he saw things that only a precious few did. I know he saw the Hand of God upon his father because Solomon had peace through his entire kingship. What happened? Rehoboam reigned on the throne of Israel after his father Solomon died. WOW!!! This apple fell far from the tree.
He wanted to blaze his own trail and make his mark in life. Well, he did. But for the wrong reasons.
I grew up around many godly people and saw the Spirit of God upon them. As with Rehoboam, I wanted to blaze my own trail and do what i wanted to do. And I did. Many failures followed. Indecision and insecurity was bedrocks within me. I was lost. I did not set my heart to seek after The Lord. How easy was it for the people back then to say "This is the son of Solomon. He will reign as his father did with much wisdom and godliness." WRONG.
Solomon's faith, trust and obedience in God was not passed on to Rehoboam. Much like my mother's faith in God and those who taught me as a child in the church growing up, I could not claim their God as my God unless I set my heart to learn of and from Him.
The scriptures say imphatically that God looks on the heart. The outward man (body) will perish but the inward man (spirit) needs to be renewed because that man is spiritually dead. He is the one that defines who we are in our hearts. Praise God that His Holy Spirit continued to pursue me while i was running in the opposite direction. Now I live for God. Believe me I still struggle in life, but now I know that God is with me through all things. Did Rehoboam renew himself in the LORD? I cannot say. But, it nice to know that God did not forsake me while my heart's throne had other god's sitting on it.